Hitachimaru (1)
My precious princess is unbelievably beautiful, lively, cheerful, and a bit broken.
Indeed, she’s so broken that she sometimes forgets the activities necessary for human survival.
She doesn’t eat, doesn’t sleep, and leaves her emotions somewhere else. She’s here, yet not here.
I love you. You’re more important to me than anyone else.
These words, no matter how much I pour and pour them, seem to spill away.
There are times when I wonder where my heart has gone.
Mother said,
“Your words reache her. Don’t worry. For someone as affectionate as you, having a gap is just right.”
When I had to go to war, I shuddered. Not because I’m afraid of the battlefield. I take pride in being Prince Hiiro’s guard. I would protect him even at the cost of my life, and I have enough confidence to protect him even without sacrificing my life. I am strong.
What scares me is the possibility of Otoha, who has become distant from me, disappearing. If I die, Otoha might not live either. No one instilled this feeling in me. No one told me. It’s not arrogance. It’s surely just a fact.
Not knowing how far apart is safe, I felt uneasy. Whenever I could find time, I wrote letters from the battlefield. I didn’t know if the letters sent from the battlefield would reach, but when a reply came, I felt relieved that she was alive.
On the day of the wedding, Master Hiiro, who rarely got drunk, said with a choking voice, “I’m glad I could return you to Otoha.”
Despite doing unreasonable things and picking up dangerous things for no apparent reason, he is fundamentally a very kind person. I was happy to be able to serve this person.
The peaceful days after the war were still being disturbed by the Nijou family. The news of the funeral was deliberately placed in an envelope without indicating what it was, and Otoha was given it without a sender’s name.
It was a postcard with the news of Nijou Mihane’s funeral. Then came another one with “You murderer, Nijou Akesora” written on it. And then, another that said, “You better remember this, you murderer, Nijou Akegi”. Followed by another letter with the words “You don’t have a human heart, so don’t think you can live without punishment after killing my sister, Nijou Sawa” written on it.
From the first letter Otoha received from her family, malice seemed to drip.
By the time I realized, it was too late. She left her emotions somewhere and they never returned. Two days. It’s getting dangerous, but I can’t be by her side due to work. I can’t ignore the summoning of Master Hiiro to the castle.
The choice I made for Otoha’s custody, considering the person becoming Naruhito, makes me question my sanity.
In the castle, I I couldn’t care less whether Prince Sekitora relinquished his rights to the Gojou family’s guards, or whether Master Hiiro returned to the Royal family.
Oh, I want to go home quickly.
When I returned home and rushed to Naruhito’s room, I found him and Otoha eating porridge together, laughing.
Eating. Talking.
I felt a huge relief and leaned against the door.
It’s not “Welcome back” stupid. As I said, “I’m back,” I embraced Otoha, who had become thinner, with all my might.
Welcome back to you too, Otoha.