Rikimaru (6)
I covered my ears. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.
Naruhito turned towards me and said something. Reluctantly, I removed my hands from my ears.
"Rikimaru. I sleep in a bed."
The one open eye squinted, forming a smile.
Why did Sai and Dr. Ikumatsu teach me this in front of Naruhito?
Hirosue stood there in a daze.
"You sleep in a bed?"
When I spoke, tears started to flow. Embarrassing.
"I play with Rikimaru."
Is he trying to say he's doing things Combat Dolls don't do?
"I'm sorry."
I don't understand what he's apologizing for. Isn't he just raised—or rather, made—that way? No, I hate thinking like that. Sai leaned back heavily on the sofa, looking exhausted. The half-eaten pudding was now a marbled mix with caramel.
"I should apologize. For being powerless to stop the war. I'm sorry. Truly, I'm sorry."
What could a lowly official like Sai have done?
Wasn't he brought back by His Highness because he was handling all the procedures to end the war? I don't get it.
"If only someone would harshly condemn me. Why, why do you try to keep me alive so kindly?"
Sai covered his face with his left hand. His trembling voice spoke.
"I'm willing to bear the Empire's sins and die."
"Th-that's cowardly."
Hirosue's voice echoed in the room.
"Dying is an escape. Murakano's dad died in the war, and her mom left because of it as well. It was tough, but even if I found my dad's killer, them dying wouldn't change anything. It's better if they lived, worked, and paid reparations. That would be much more helpful."
"Hirosue..."
"Call me greedy if you want. You can't do anything once you're dead. Living is tough, but dying to escape it is wrong. If you've committed sins and regret them, you have to live all the more."
Hirosue paused to take a deep breath.
"You can only atone by living!"
What do you think about this chapter?
