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Chapter 31

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I don’t go outside on the rainy days.
Because Neesan is still sound asleep in her room and I can’t go outside to hunt, I spend my time walking around the labyrinth.
…… I feel like I always don’t know what to do on rainy days.

I decided to play with Misha until Neesan wakes up.
There are no problems regarding her meals. I hunted a Black Salamander I came across.
It seems the meat behind the hardy scales is pretty delicious.
…… Although eating at the moment is unnecessary, I may be able to eat after the next Evolution.
Because I can’t taste anything, it’s meaningless to eat right now.

I ask Misha if there’s something she wants to do.
After thinking for a while…… She says she wants me to comb her hair.
She tells me that she saw me combing Neesan’s hair and she wanted to try it too since then.
I don’t really mind. I have a lot of free time after all.

I let Misha sit on the rubble I always sit on and go behind her.
I take out the comb I started recently carrying from my pocket and carefully start combing Misha’s hair.
It’s different from Neesan’s wavy, silky hair. Misha’s hair is black and feels like feathers on touch.
Because it’s the same hair color I once had, I comb very carefully while feeling nostalgic.
Although I would sometimes tickle her, she is obediently enduring it.

The hair is reaching only up to her shoulders, so it doesn’t take long to finish.
Soon, her hair is neatly combed.
Misha timidly raises her arms…… she extends her wings my way.
Grooming…… No, it seems she wants me to also fix her feathers.
…… How do you do that?
After thinking it over, I come to the conclusion that doing it with a comb would be difficult, therefore, I caress her feathers softly with my hands.
It seems I’m tickling her because her shoulders tremble.
But, it seems that I’m doing it right.
While I was hesitant at first, I continue slowly caressing her feathers.

After successfully fixing her feathers, I cut the Black Salamander meat and give it to Misha since she seemed hungry.
Seeing her biting the meat, a smile floats on my face unconsciously.

 

Living…… it looks hectic.

 

You eat, you sleep.
If you don’t eat, you suffer from starving.
If you don’t sleep, soon you won’t be able to move because of the accumulated fatigue.
Living is that kind of stuff.
Eating is not necessary for me and Neesan, and sleeping is also not required.
Neesan sleeps every day, because of Vampire’s preferred time of activity.
Certain Immortals demand the feeling of satisfaction sleeping provides.
For us Immortals, eating and sleeping is only such thing.

In contrast, why is living so inconvenient?
Why does living restrict you so much?
It’s not even possible to live without breathing consistently.
…… Really, how miserable.

But, therefore, it shines so much.
Certainly, Immortals are free.
If the body is not destroyed, one can live forever.
However, it’s cold.
It’s helplessly cold.
Not only the body. Even the mind.
Being with her, with Misha, I finally understood.

We are candles.
The body is the candle, and the fire is life.
It will eventually burn out.
However, that is alright.
What is the meaning of a candle without fire?
It’s just an inferior ornament.
Rather than being an ornament, I want to burn until I disappear.
I want a fire that would warm up this cold wax body.
I don’t need a body that can live eternally if I can’t do anything with it.
Just a moment is enough.
I――I want a fire that will light this body.

 

 

 

 

After Misha became full, she curled up on the floor and started sleeping.
I laugh at such bewildering behavior.
…… Really. Living seems to be so hectic.
How warm.
In order to not let her catch a cold, I take off my coat and put it gently over her not to wake her up.

There’s still some time until Neesan wakes up.
So until then, I will look over this child who desperately struggles to live.。
I will work hard to obtain a warm body just like this child.

For us Immortals, living like Misha seems way too difficult.
I kept watching her sleep without getting tired.

 

 

 

……… Right.
After all, I’m only a corpse.
Just how fragile the living are?
Just how easy it is for life to crumble and disappear?
To hold on that and not lose it is important.
If it was me from the past, I would understand.
I did not understand. No, I simply forgot.
Life…… living things――

――If you poke it/them a little, it easily breaks.

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