v1 Chapter 29
They Should Have Died
"The ones who bear the duty to raise children are the parents who gave birth to them. There is no duty whatsoever to have to nurture other children solely for the reason of having been born first."
Reshefmote asserted.
"... B-But, if I, Kana, didn't take care of them, my younger brothers and sisters would..."
"They should have just died, obviously."
Once again, Reshefmote asserted. Without any hesitation.
"That children who cannot be raised by their parents lose their lives is the law of nature. Their luck to live was insufficient; that is all there is to it. There exists no reason why humans alone should be an exception."
"... Their luck... was insufficient..."
"The fate of having to die, your siblings in your previous life survived it by sacrificing you. In spite of that, they showed no gratitude whatsoever and overworked you until you were exhausted. Even when they became able to feed themselves on their own, still."
That was not true.
The younger siblings who became independent and left home occasionally sent money, wishing for it to help even a little with household finances. Since her parents hardly put money into the household by the time the youngest child entered elementary school and Kana had no choice but to earn through part-time jobs, she had been helped immensely.
(... But, they didn't help with childcare.)
Taking care of the younger siblings at difficult ages, whether during puberty or rebellious phases, was Kana alone. The independent siblings probably thought that Kana was their mother. For better or worse.
Although they adored her, they had thought it was only natural for a mother to devote herself to her children.
(Even though I didn't give birth to them.)
(Even though I didn't wish for it.)
(... If only those children hadn't been born, I could have lived for myself, and yet.)
Just as much as they were precious, they were hateful. Emotions she had begun to forget, had tried to forget, flowed out thick and muddy from the wound that was supposed to have closed over during the years since becoming Gertrude.
As if even the feelings that were supposed to be ugly were precious, Reshefmote smiled sweetly.
"What an adorable person."
This monster was crazy.
At her face clearly oozing suspicion and disgust, Reshefmote gazed more lovingly than ever before.
"The great sinners are unforgivable, but thanks to that, I shall be accepted by you, will I not?"
A large palm ecstatically stroked her twitching cheek.
"Your soul is wounded, stagnant, and warped. That is precisely why there is an opening for me to take advantage of."
"... Monster."
"What are you saying now of all times?"
Rustle, rustle, the spider legs squirmed. Those four pairs of legs would likely leap easily over even steep mountains that trained humans and horses could not cross.
"Even if bestowed the Goddess's blood, my essence is that of a beast. Taking advantage whenever there is an opening and devouring what I want is my true nature."
"... Kh... are you truly fine with me? I am neither the Goddess Silvana nor the real Princess Gertrude, you know?"
That she ended up asking such a thing might be because she shrank back upon coming into contact with a fragment of this monster's dreadfulness, belated though it was.
"It is you that I want."
The monster floated a smile mixing sinister dread and affection, something humans could never do.
"I want to attend upon you, who is wounded, stagnant, and warped… besides, although you say you are not a goddess, to me, I cannot think so, you see."
"...? What do you mean?"
Although the blood of the Goddess Silvana flowed in Gertrude's physical body, she was of course neither the Goddess herself nor a direct descendant of the Goddess. Sakurai Kana had also been an utterly ordinary human.