Unavoidable, Alcohol (10)
…… And so, a few days later.
Before our eyes, the churchmen were taken out from the Panis Village jail and loaded into a prison carriage that had come from the royal castle.
They shouted things like, “Please forgive us!” “This is a terrible mistake!” “What do you think will happen to the Church of this country once we’re gone!?” But under the supervision of Princess Laperesiana and several other officials from the royal castle, they were safely hauled away. Off to exile—exported abroad, so to speak.
“I wonder if it’ll be alright… Think they’ll really stay gone?”
Personally, I’ve got some worries about this whole “exile” thing. I mean, all we’re doing is dumping them outside the country. That’s not exactly solving the root of the problem.
“Exile doesn’t just mean tossing them out of the country,” Princess Laperesiana explained. “An official decree is sent throughout the realm—‘These individuals have been exiled. Should they be found within the country, report them immediately. Anyone harboring them will also be punished.’ They lose all means to operate within the kingdom. They won’t be able to buy or sell anything. They’ll never make it back.”
Well… in that case, it’d be pretty hard for them to return, sure.
Still, if they accidentally manage to form some kind of faction in a neighboring country and start causing trouble for us from there, that’d be annoying… but I guess they probably don’t have that kind of drive.
“Pigs who’ve fattened themselves by clinging to power won’t have the skill to feed themselves. Their survival itself is doubtful.”
… Princess Laperesiana doesn’t mince words. But she’s not wrong. I get it. Totally get it…
“Well, with that, peace should be maintained until my brother’s coronation. The Grand Cathedral won’t be able to move for a while.”
“That’s a relief.”
Anyway, this matter is now settled—for the time being, at least. So yeah, the best thing to do now is enjoy this peace while it lasts!
And so, Panis Village turned that day into a festival—the “Church Bastards’ Shipping-Off Festival.” Judging by how happily everyone was preparing, yeah… hatred really is a kind of motivation, huh.
“Booze! It’s booze time! Hell yeah!”
“I’m drinking! I’m drinkiiing!”
“You lot better keep it in check! Or I’ll toss you into the same jail as those Church bastards!”
“I’ll drink in moderation! Totally moderate drinking, I swear!”
… Well, if it’s fun, I guess the motivation doesn’t matter. As long as it’s in moderation. Moderation’s important, in all things.
“Now then… I think I’ll sample that special liquor myself.”
“Please drink moderately, Princess Laperesiana.”
So, before our eyes, Princess Laperesiana—probably the most excited of us all—lifted a glass of brandy.
Uh… at her personal request, this was the “200% Deliciousness Boost Edition.”
I wasn’t too sure about that, and neither was Lisas-san. We watched nervously as she downed her first glass in one go.
“This… is excellent.”
Then, smiling, she studied the pitcher with keen interest.
“I’ve never had a drink like this before. Very strong, yet it doesn’t feel strong… Indeed, one could easily overindulge without self-control.”
“Exactly. Please stop there, Your Highness.”
“I intended to. This is quite dangerous.”
Lisas-san carefully moved the pitcher away, and both she and Princess Laperesiana shared a wry smile. Yeah, I doubt she’d actually get drunk, but alcohol can change people…
“Then let’s drink this next!”
And here comes Mishisia-san, carrying a bottle in her arms.
“This is tomato liqueur! I think it’s milder than the last one, so it should be fine! Here, please try!”
“Hm. Then I shall.”
Mishisia-san fearlessly marched right up to Princess Laperesiana and started pressing the drink on her. Impressive social skills, honestly.
“Tomato… that’s the red fruit often served with meals, yes?”
“Yup! But Asuma-sama made a slightly different kind of tomato this time! The ones in here are—uh, these!”
Mishisia-san dashed off and quickly returned with a dish of sliced fruit tomatoes. “Here you go!” she said, offering a tiny fork. Princess Laperesiana took a piece and tasted it…
“… Oh.”
Ah—did Princess Laperesiana just take a liking to the fruit tomatoes? If she did, I’d love for her to take some home. Spread the word of their deliciousness to the royal castle!
… Yeah! Even though we don’t need noble backing anymore, having more supporters is never a bad thing for the village’s growth! Which means the more tasty foods she shares, the better!
Alright! Let’s feed her all the best stuff we’ve got and count on her for publicity!
So, starting from fruit tomatoes and tomato liqueur, to the aged “brandy lookalike,” freshly made wine, herbal teas, omelets with fresh eggs and veggies… Princess Laperesiana tried them all and declared, “These are splendid!” looking genuinely delighted.
Man, it feels great when people enjoy what you’ve worked so hard to make. Totally worth the effort.
… Also, turns out Princess Laperesiana can really hold her liquor. Even as Mishisia-san kept going, “This one’s tasty too!” “And this one!” “By the way, can I call you ‘Lapere’?”—Princess Laperesiana kept calmly drinking, commenting on each flavor, and even said, “Ah, call me what you wish…”
Wait. She’s gotta be super drunk, right? Her face just doesn’t show it!
If we leave Mishisia-san by her side, Princess Laperesiana might stay composed-looking but end up wasted, so Lisas-san hauled Mishisia-san off. Then I took her place to chat—something sobering, hopefully.
As Princess Laperesiana, visibly pleased, patted my head and murmured “Adorable,” I froze, thinking yeah she’s drunk all right, and decided to ask:
“So, Princess Laperesiana. What’s going to happen to the Church from here?”
“Hmm… I intend to dismantle it, eventually.”
Even drunk, she answers clearly. Impressive woman.
“Um… won’t that cause problems? Like, with blessings and stuff?”
“Indeed. But the ones who perform the blessings now can simply be placed under the castle’s authority. Those miracles aren’t exclusive to divine teachings, after all.”
Oh, really? Then there must be some kind of “blessing magic power” involved. Maybe I could analyze it someday and create fantasy fertilizer…?
“Well… the Grand Cathedral will likely be the first to go, but local churches should remain—under supervision.”
“Oh? Really?”
“There are those who find salvation in faith, after all.”
Ah… yeah. That’s true.
Our village’s been harassed plenty by Church officials, but religion itself isn’t inherently rotten.
Sure, there are unreasonable or even inhumane doctrines—like “Do whatever you want to heretics.” But most of it’s probably about “living rightly and kindly,” and the afterlife stuff helps people cope with loss. So yeah, not everything about it’s bad.
“So, we’ll begin by downsizing the Grand Cathedral. I’ll place trustworthy people at the top… As for the Saintess, she’ll be kept at the castle for now. Her role’s future will be decided through talks with the Cathedral.”
Ah right, the Saintess. She didn’t come this time, so we still don’t know what she’s like. I’m a bit curious.
“In any case, the kingdom will shift again from here.”
Princess Laperesiana smiled, satisfied.
“At the very least, the balance has tipped toward the Second Prince’s downfall. That’s what he gets for siding with the Cathedral.”
Oh yeah, that too. Since he tried to have her killed, I can’t help but think, Serves him right!
“Well… there are parts that must move swiftly and parts that must not. The Cathedral’s reform will take time, but deciding who sits the throne cannot wait.”
So yeah, looks like the kingdom’s about to move fast again. Wonder what’s coming next.
“… I’ll stop by here again soon. Somehow, this village really does soothe both body and soul.”
“You’re always welcome! Everyone will be thrilled!”
Whatever happens, I’ll just keep doing what I can—making sure visitors can relax and enjoy themselves, and wishing the country well.
“… By the way, are the slimes not here today?”
“Oh! They are! I’ll go get them!”
Since she seems to like the slimes, I’ll bring them over! Do what I can! Step by step!
“Hey, slimes! Come on over! No, not all of you—just a few! Five from the front—hey! Are you listening!? You’re not!? You seriously not listening!? You guys are so free-spirited! Fine, whatever! Come however many you want!”
… Yeah, control over the slimes is beyond me. So when they start wobbling along in a big squishy parade toward the banquet hall, I just give up. More is fine, right? Slimes are slimes.
And so, Princess Laperesiana and her party stayed the night and left the next morning.
For publicity’s sake, we sent her off with some brandy, wine, fruit tomatoes, and newly finished linen fabric.
And also—the “Blue Titanium and Diamond Necklace” that our craftsmen rushed to finish.
Apparently, after seeing Princess Laperesiana rage at the Church last time, the artisans were inspired to “turn that feeling into art.” I don’t get it, but okay.
The result was a delicately crafted necklace. The diamonds shone brilliantly, and the titanium, covered in an oxide film, displayed a gradient from silver to vivid aqua to deep blue—like the sea itself.
Princess Laperesiana was quite surprised by the unique titanium sheen and seemed to take a liking to it. Which means, surely, other nobles will too! Perfect—free promotion!
It felt a bit cheeky using her as a living billboard, but if it brings more people here, it’s worth it. Especially since all the new job openings would be a disaster if sales didn’t keep up. So for the sake of Panis Village’s economy—please, help us out, Princess Laperesiana.
…… Two weeks later.
“There sure are more people now.”
Yep. The population’s gone up.
More noble visitors. More adventurers. Even a few folks wanting to move here permanently. Lots more craftsmen too—which is amazing.
… And so.
“I can finally expand the book collection, right…?”
Thus began the founding of the Great Library of Panis Village!
What do you think about this chapter?
