Broken reason and beyond.
Dirk’s Point of View
We were going to discuss things in the parlor of our house, but my stomach that couldn’t read the air growled, so we ate a meal, which became our lunch. Rosarin glanced at me. I had made up my resolve, so I started talking to her.
“Rosarin?”
“What is it?”
“About this morning… well, about recently, I want to properly wait until you are sixteen. I forced you to marry me... and I know it will be a burden, and I don't think we should have children just yet, considering what we are going through."
I reiterated my thoughts. But that was not the only honest truth. I'm afraid of my own greed. I don't want her to know the dirty me that wants her to be my own. I don't want to hurt her with my greed.
“I understand. But I don't want to wait any longer. I know you are thinking about the burden on my body. You are right, Dirk. It’s true that this marriage was planned without my knowledge, but I was going to marry you anyway. It just wasn't the right time.”
“... Yeah.”
“I ended up agreeing to the marriage in the end. It’s not like I married you out of spite, though. I want to be a proper wife for you, Dirk.”
“......... Eh?”
A proper wife? What does she mean?
“You only made it a weekend thing, so you wouldn't attack me because of your pheromones and stuff, right? Sure, it's going to be a lot of work, but we are newlyweds, so I want to be with you at least at night."
“... Rosarin…”
That… I also want to live together with her. But, that’s not the problem now.
I'm not sure how long I could endure being half-dead.
“I want you to have me… all of me… just at least once."
I was starting to get nervous. To be asked by my beloved mate to be hers… it was too sweet a temptation. And I guess it was a compromise in her own way to want me to hold her just once.
“......... I don’t think I can win! The hell!? Why are you being so brave!?”
“I don’t think I’m being brave. I'm just being selfish in trying to understand your intentions. Dirk, I’m the same as you. We waited for 7 years, you know? The age difference was difficult to deal with. Don't put up with it, make me yours?"
“Ugh…”
That's right. Just as I had waited seven years to marry her, she had waited seven years to marry me. I was not wrong, and neither was she.
“I want to be Dirk Barton's, body and soul, of my own volition, and I want you to make me a proper Rosarin Barton.”
With her words, my mind was made up.
"... I don't care what's going to happen anymore, okay? I won’t be able to stop, even if you cry or get hurt. I will make you... mine."
“... Yeah.”
I had always wanted to make her my own. She wished the same for me. I don't know the words to describe this joy, this urge… this painful sadness and happiness.
It was these "words" that completely destroyed the last shred of my reason.
Well, yeah. I did it. To be honest, we should have taken a bath before we did it, and it was the middle of the day to begin with, but I didn't care about such trivial things. I don't know how many times I made her faint.
My patience has gone into overdrive. I guess it helped that Rosarin seemed to be feeling good. She bled a little, but didn’t seem to be in much pain. And it didn't stop after one time, but several times... If I remember it, I might attack her again, so I'd better not.
And the next morning, Rosarin could not move.
“I’m sorry for being unreasonable.”
“No, I wanted it…”
Rosarin wasn't angry at all, even though she had been put through all that. She just laughed at the apology. I took care of Rosarin who couldn’t stand up.
It seemed that once shattered, it takes a long time to regain one's rationality, so I ended up casually touching her. Rosarin seemed to be aware of this, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“... That, can we do it tonight as well?”
I asked her, even though it was a little bit too bold of me to ask. I was going to give up if it was too hard on her body.
“...... Sure. I was just thinking about it, too. But, I want to talk about the future… so go easy on me tonight, will you? Darling.”
My wife was a Goddess. I didn't expect permission. But… you know, I think saying a line like that with moistened eyes and shame looks very indecent.
“.................. You know, you are way too adorable, Rosarin.”
I would like her not to fan my flames so much, but…
“Then you will have to pamper me and take care of me for the rest of my life. I don't want to be lonely anymore…”
To think her answer would push me down the slippery slope even harder. It was a strange sensation to touch her. I understood her loneliness. I felt a new bond with her… a magical bond. The pheromones made me unable to be by her side... I could feel her loneliness and anxiety.
She was cute as she hugged me shyly... and I was happy she felt safe... and I couldn't help but hug her tighter.
I was embarrassed, happy, and my heart was aching… I was so glad that she was feeling it too. Rosarin also hugged me tightly. I love her so much.
“............ I don't think I can win at all! Damn it, you're so cute! I won't let you go, even if you don't want me to! I won't give you time to miss me, okay!?”
I said, but I kept it at a tolerable level in consideration of Rosarin’s burden. Once I have tasted it… it was hard to resist. It was the least I could do, but I can’t help it if she wants to be pampered.
And after discussion, we decided to live in the new house. There will be a transition period, but we still want to spend time together. I am busy with work, but it will be fun every day.
By the way, when I returned home after the honeymoon, I was in trouble. Rosarin had eyes like a dead fish. When I’m with Rosarin, there is no peace. There was trouble again.
What do you think about this chapter?
