Dropping Out of the Course
The Dowager Queen spoke with a distant, nostalgic tone.
“What Veronica said earlier… was true. My husband never spared me a thought. And I projected that onto you.”
“Your Majesty…”
Her husband—the King before last.
He was known for his bold nature and love of women, keeping many mistresses.
(The King before last passed away young… It’s common knowledge that the cause was likely a venereal disease contracted from one of his lovers…)
As I stayed silent, the Dowager Queen gave a bitter smile.
“You and I are entirely different people… Yet, seeing you being manipulated by Brian… It infuriated me, as if I were looking at my past self.”
She shrugged her shoulders, letting out a heavy breath before continuing.
“That’s why I avoided involving myself in your conflicts as much as possible. No one ever helped me back then. It seemed unfair that you had someone willing to help you… I suppose that’s what I thought.”
I didn’t know what to say in response.
(That must’ve been hard for you.)?
(I understand how you feel.)?
(It’s only natural to feel that way.)?
None of those seemed fitting. They all sounded like shallow, temporary consolations—certainly not the kind of words this woman sought.
The Dowager Queen smiled bitterly, shrugging once more.
“In the end, I’ve remained trapped in that time… Bound by the resentment of ‘why only me?’ It’s like a curse.”
“…………”
“That’s why… I envied you. You seemed radiant… If only I had the courage to cut off my hair as boldly as you.”
“… I couldn’t perform the role of a perfect noblewoman or queen. So, I’m simply dropping out halfway. Dropping out of the course… It may be the easiest way to ease my heart, but if you call it irresponsible, I can’t argue with that.”
I replied with a wry smile.
I was fully aware of my own shortcomings.
I was never a perfect queen.
I got so caught up in what was right in front of me that I couldn’t see the bigger picture, constantly lagging behind in everything.
In other words, I simply lacked the ability to play the part of a queen properly.
At my words, the Dowager Queen smiled.
Her eyes held the same look I’d had earlier… When I looked at the sunflowers in the garden—a gaze full of admiration for something radiant.
“… It takes quite a bit of courage to drop out. Especially for people like you and me.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Please do.”
After saying that, she suddenly seemed to remember something and asked me.
“… Ah, yes. How are the cats? The ones you received from Veronica.”
The same cats Veronica had been shouting about earlier, demanding I return them.
At the mention of them, I smiled softly.
“They’re doing well. They’ve been doted on at the Clausenitzer estate. Especially by my brother, it seems.”
“I see. As long as they’re well.”
Hearing her response, I realized—perhaps in her own way, she had been concerned for the cats as well.
Once again, I turned my gaze to the Royal Garden.
(… This is the place where I regained my memories of my previous life.)
It was here that Veronica and His Majesty exchanged their words of love.
Last October.
When the cosmos flowers were in full bloom—the season His Majesty said he planted those flowers for me.
And yet, in that very flower bed, he and she…
“…………”
The memory made me smile bitterly.
The pain I felt that day…
It was likely because the place I cherished so deeply—the cosmos flower bed I treasured—was used as the backdrop for their intimate exchange.
I was left speechless as I witnessed the sight of the two of them together.
It was around that same time that Veronica’s habit of bringing in stray cats had become a problem in the Royal Garden.
The outside world is dangerous. If you’re going to keep cats, it’s better to bring them indoors.
But Veronica would just release the cats into the Royal Garden and leave them be.
Starving, the cats began wreaking havoc in the garden, leaving a mess behind.
So I, along with the maids and knights, had been rounding them up one by one.
The last one—an orange tabby named Will.
When I finally caught him… I noticed voices coming from a little further away.
What do you think about this chapter?
