Pro Wrestling Techniques Lecture
When I got to the living room, I found my smiling grandfather, my grandmother who wore the same kind of smile as Brother Noel—but with eyes that didn’t smile at all—and an expressionless Nancy waiting for me.
“Welcome back. Did you have fun?”
“Y-Yes, Grandfather. It was fun…”
More than that, though, I’m seriously concerned about Grandmother and Nancy…
“Joan, sounds like a lot happened in town.”
“Y-Yes. A lot… did happen.”
“Sara, give me what I handed you.”
“Yes, Master Noel. Here it is.”
Sara removed the hairpin with a pretty stone from her hair and handed it to Noel.
I had been wondering why she was wearing a hair accessory for once, and it turns out Brother Noel gave it to her. He’s got some style, doesn’t he~? But… why is she giving it back?
Noel quickly answered that question for me.
“This is a magical tool that records visual footage of what the wearer sees. Alright, let’s play it back.”
“““““Huh!?”””””
Apparently, no one except Sara had been told about this.
Brother Gene and Nathan gave wry smiles.
Footage played of us receiving various things from street vendors, the trouble with the drunk during lunch, and everything that happened at the dried goods shop.
And now, we’re being made to sit in formal kneeling position.
“Our private corps brought the drunk back and told us the general story… but what was that dangerous behavior? Joan, explain yourself!!”
“Yes, gladly!”
I explained how I remembered some self-defense techniques from my previous life when I got grabbed, and how I instinctively used a pro wrestling move, which is a kind of combat sport.
“Haaah… why did you go toward the guy? You had the chance to run. You could’ve hidden or something. You’re a girl, you know?”
“Ah—um, I kind of just did it without thinking?”
“‘Kind of just did it’ is not an excuse. I mean seriously—after all that drama, I thought you’d come right home after lunch, so I was waiting, but you took forever.”
“I’m sorry. Uh… I forgot.”
“Forgot what, exactly?”
Brother Gene asked, narrowing his eyes.
“Uhh… about the drunk incident?”
I tilted my head with a sheepish “tehe.”
[Hah!?]““Pff—ahahaha!””
While everyone else was dumbfounded, only Brother Gene and Nathan couldn’t hold back their laughter.
“Well, I get it now, Joan. But more importantly—Guts, Kira. Do you two understand what you did wrong this time?”
Lindsey asked, holding a fan to her lips, her voice gentle but her eyes still razor sharp.
“Yes. I ran into some old acquaintances… and I froze up. I failed to protect the young lady.”
“Yes, that’s true. And you, Kira?”
“I took my eyes off the young lady I was supposed to be guarding and put her in danger.”
“I see. So you *do* understand. Hey, Guts, why did you join the private corps? Wasn’t it to break away from your past? And yet… you froze up like that? Don’t be such a wimp! Looks like your mental fortitude is still lacking. And Kira, don’t slack off on your guard duty. Maybe you thought you were protecting Guts, but is he your charge? Of course not!! Starting tomorrow, I’m retraining you both! Get ready!! … Ahem. That’s all from me.”
““Yes, ma’am…””
I want to believe that the fire I saw behind Grandmother was just an illusion. She looked like an Asura…
She gave Nancy a signal with her eyes.
“Then from me, just one thing… Zack, Sarah, Anny, we’ll be having a talk later.”
Looks like Nancy is seriously mad too… it’s getting so cold it’s like I’m going to freeze.
“““… Yes.”””
Zack, Sarah, and Anny kept their heads lowered.
After Grandmother and Brother Noel finished their “very valuable life lectures”, I was left squirming with numb legs in the living room, next to Brother Gene who was still smiling awkwardly. Zack, Sarah, and Anny—also suffering from numb legs—were carried out of the living room by Nancy, Nathan, and the private corps, including Dai who was doing his best not to laugh. Guts and Kira were also taken out the same way.
“Hey, hey, Jo. You got more of those moves? What were they called, pro wrestling?”
“I do… Brother Gene, are you interested?”
“Totally! That was amazing!”
We moved to my guest room.
“Brother Gene, would you prefer standing techniques or joint locks?”
“Standing and joint… what now?”
“Umm, it’s like… standing techniques are moves done while standing, and joint locks are ones that twist joints, usually done when the opponent’s already down.”
“Ah, I get it. So the move from earlier was a standing one. Alright, let’s go with joint locks.”
Well then, in response to Brother Gene’s request, let’s begin our Pro Wrestling Technique Lecture!
Since he wants joint locks this time… let’s start with something easy.
“Alright, Brother Gene, please lie face-down on the bed.”
“Roger that. Like this?”
“Yes. Oh, and if you want to tap out, just hit the bed. So first, when the opponent’s lying face-down… there we go… you tuck their legs under your arms like this, then straddle their body and sit down…”
Slap slap slap!
“I-I give up! I give up!! Jo… my back… it’s breaking…”
“… That was the Boston Crab. Are you okay?”
“Hah… hah… that was close.”
We paused for a break and sipped some iced tea.
“That one was brutal. Really got me.”
“There are also arm locks, leg locks, and neck locks too.”
“Wow, there’s a bunch, huh. What about arm locks?”
“A simple one is… give me your arm. Then you twist the wrist like this…”
“Owowow…”
“That’s a wrist lock. And there’s a variation… please lie on your back.”
“Eh… seriously?”
“Yes, don’t worry.”
Brother Gene lay on his back on the bed again, looking at me nervously.
“Trap the opponent’s arm between your legs, secure it, and hold the wrist with their thumb pointing up…”
“Hmm? Doesn’t hurt at all?”
“And then, you pull back…”
“GYAAAHHH!! JOE!! Stop! STOOP!! It’s gonna snap—my arm’s coming off—!”
BAM!
“What the hell are you two doing!!?”
““Ah…””
There stood Brother Noel, looking like a wrathful deity wreathed in flames. We're so screwed…
“Why are you doing this again after just getting scolded!? Joan, do you *really* understand you’re a girl? You’re wearing a dress, and yet you’re trapping a boy’s arm between your legs like it’s nothing. And Gene! Why are you letting her do such dangerous stuff? I mean really…”
After that, we received “Very Valuable Life Lecture Part 2” from Brother Noel, which lasted nearly a full quarter of a day.
And I was just responding to Brother Gene’s request…
Ah, but maybe if I wore pants instead of a skirt, it’d be okay?
What do you think about this chapter?
