You are actually quite dear to me.
“That… umm. It has been three years since we married.”
Those words felt like a slap on my cheek. It’s difficult to say that political marriages of nobles last long. A woman who marries into another household needs to give birth to a child who will succeed the house or give birth to a spare. I wasn’t able to do that.
Is not having a child after three years of marriage the problem?
“I know very well that I am being selfish by saying this, but accepting you as my wife was work-related, I don’t return to this mansion often, so making a child with you is difficult.”
“Is that what Father-in-law said…?”
I didn’t know anyone who would say something like that. Perhaps it was pointed out by Father-in-law? I am having endless doubts, though…
“No, Father didn’t encourage me to do this.”
Knowing he wasn’t ordered this by father-in-law, my heart settled a little. Even if his relationship with his father is quite disconnected, Father-in-law is a general of this country, the head of the Garland family. If that person wanted us to divorce, I would have no place for rebuttal.
However, Anton is only twenty-six, and I am twenty-one. It’s not like we are not at the age of making a child anymore. We only lacked opportunities to spend time together because of his work. But, that’s not a good thing in this society. If a woman doesn’t get pregnant within three years, her body is going to be deemed unsuitable for pregnancy, people will call her barren woman and she will get chased away from the family.
He said to me as I was pondering.
“This was my own decision. It may seem selfish, but I’m still only twenty-six. I want to do as I please. Please, Yurika.”
“Anton?”
He was not done yet as he lowered his head. What a bad joke. As the Commander of the Imperial Guards, he is the target of young noble ladies’ longing. If the problem is not with me, then perhaps? I could only have doubts.
“Is there someone else you like?”
Anton’s eyebrows twitched.
“That’s not it. That is absolutely not true.”
“Then, why are you speaking of divorcing me…”
Although he is often the center of the opposite sex’s attention, his actions were always careful around me. His father might have a big influence on him, but is he perhaps unfaithful to me? When I asked, Anton shook his head exaggeratedly in denial.
“You are actually quite dear to me.”
“Then, why?”
Quite? That remark pierced my heart. How is he able to speak of divorce while saying that I am dear to him?
“I won’t tell you to leave right away. Please collect your things by the end of this month. Well then, I will be returning back to my work. You don’t need to send me off.”
Saying that, Anton lightly tapped on my shoulder and left the balcony. His relaxed attitude was like he was talking to a friend. Not something you would do to your wife. What does he really think of me?
I was not amused by being left alone. The tea I prepared for my husband was left in front of me as if being thrown away. I unconsciously took the cup into my hands.
He said that he won’t tell me to leave right away, but he told me to pack up. His decision is already fixed in place. He didn’t listen to my opinion whatsoever. Was the person I spent three years of my life with someone like that?
“… How wasteful.”
Without telling anyone, I drank the tea I had made for him. The tea he did not drink tasted a bit salty.