Excuse Me for Intruding!*1
“W-why… why is this happening…?”
I considered every possible explanation.
In my head, I imagined slimes wearing a “Goodwill Ambassador” sash, wobbling around in a friendly squish-squish manner, or slimes bravely squishing forward to face an enemy. I even wondered, “Laperesiana-sama, could she be so exhausted she’s lost her mind?”
“From what we can tell, the greatest weapon of those former Grand Cathedral members who were exiled is their Blessing.”
… But it seemed all of my ideas were needless worries.
I see. Yeah. Now that it’s been said, I get it immediately. Of course.
If slime farming spreads, the value of the Blessing, the only bargaining chip those ex-Grand Cathedral people have left, will crash!
“The value of the Blessing is indeed great. It can even cause a nation’s crop yields to more than double.”
“Ohh… I see! So that’s why the expelled Grand Cathedral people are trying to go to other countries and say, ‘Would you like to buy this Blessing?’ right!?”
“That is very likely. If there is another reason, it would be that some barbaric nation, eager to exploit our internal conflicts, accepted their offer. Even in that case, though… they would still be negotiating to obtain the Blessing.”
Ahh~ yes, yes, yes. I get it. I’m starting to get the whole picture!
And at the same time, I’m starting to feel relieved!
“Devalue the opponent’s assets. Reduce the worth of their capital. A basic tactic, certainly… and since the group in question is a mere collection of people who were already exiled, not a large organization, it should be very effective… And the method is to ‘spread the greatness of slimes.’”
“I see!”
Good! Laperesiana-sama isn’t losing her mind! Truly great news! Really!
So that’s what “spreading the greatness of slimes” means, in other words, exporting slime farming to other nations.
And so, you slimes over there. You might’ve been expecting something, but nothing like what you imagined is going to happen!
… Well, it’s questionable whether slimes can expect anything, or even think at all…
“Umm, do other countries not have something like the Blessing?”
Right. Now this is what concerns me, the situation in other nations.
If they’re about to start a war with us, I want to know what’s going on inside their pockets.
“I hear they use variations of earth magic. But in any case, it seems to be monopolized by organizations similar to the Church.”
“So the ex-Grand Cathedral people we expelled… aren’t they picking a fight with that country’s religious organization too?”
“They are.”
Aaaaahhh, what a pain! Those people really are the type who don’t care what happens to anyone else as long as they themselves are fine!
“That is why I intend to introduce slimes to the churches of that country.”
“Ohh~ if you do that, at the very least, those churches will side with us!”
“That is the idea… Though they might dislike slimes themselves, they would still prefer to ally with us rather than let foreign opportunists strip away their vested interests.”
Ahhh, I see. I see…
… Well, this explains a lot. Mainly, it explains why Laperesiana-sama seems so tired. Very, very clearly…
“Umm… truly, thank you for all your hard work…”
“Thank you. Well, for today, I will let the food and hot springs here soothe my fatigue.”
Yeah, she’s completely exhausted. She deserves to rest thoroughly!
So, we let Laperesiana-sama experience a slime massage.
Until now, the slimes had always been the ones getting massaged, but recently, they’ve learned something, now they gently wobble and squish on top of people.
When you place a warm slime from the hot spring on your shoulders or back or waist, it seems to relieve fatigue… Unfortunately, I currently have the body of an elementary school kid, so shoulder stiffness is not really a thing for me… But I can understand the therapeutic effect of a warm, squishy slime wobbling around.
So I really wanted Laperesiana-sama to try it and hopefully recover even a little.
After that, the hot spring and our cooking would complete the hospitality! That’s Panis Village’s specialty!
… And so, Laperesiana-sama experienced the slime massage and declared it “very good,” clearly pleased. The slimes also looked proud. Probably proud. I think that’s what slimes look like when they’re proud. Probably.
“And now, regarding spreading slime farming to other nations… I believe we need your permission, Asuma-sama. What do you think?”
“Oh, I think it’s fine. If anything, I’d just like you to be careful not to cause mass over-harvesting of slimes…”
After the hot spring and massage, Laperesiana-sama looked all refreshed and glossy as she asked.
I thought about whether there was anything else we needed to be cautious about.
These things feel like there should be something, but nothing comes to mind right away…
“… This is your research result, is it not, Asuma-sama? Is it truly acceptable to spread it instead of keeping it exclusive?”
… And suddenly, Laperesiana-sama looked worried!
Ahh~ right. That issue. Makes sense.
“Oh, yes. I mean… ideally I should file a patent, and Panis Village has been working on establishing intellectual property protections, so you’re absolutely right…”
Panis Village has been promoting intellectual property awareness.
For example, libraries provide “paid copying services, with a portion of proceeds returned to the author,” and inventions or ideas are set up so their creators receive proper compensation.
The goal is to attract knowledgeable people to settle here, but eventually, I hope it spreads across the world.
So… if I just say, “Sure! Let my slime farming techniques spread freely!”
that would contradict my own principles.
But…
“In this case, I personally want to prioritize national interest over individual profit, so… umm, how about this: the royal palace buys the rights outright? A lump-sum purchase. If my profits had to be calculated each time another country uses the technique, it’d be way too complicated.”
“Oh, that is most helpful. In that case, I can allocate a budget immediately.”
“Ah, does that mean you’ll need to redo the national budget to afford it?”
“Of course. We are talking about the equivalent of the Blessing. In that case, we must account for several years’ worth of the donations the Grand Cathedral used to greedily extort.”
… This is turning into something huge, but it can’t be helped.
I could irresponsibly say “You can buy it cheaper!”, but that won’t help the future of this country or this world…
“… Then I humbly accept! Thank you very much!”
“And thank you as well… I am sorry. I should truly compensate you for the charity as well, but…”
“Oh, that part is fine! Seriously, it’s fine!”
Please, Laperesiana-sama, don’t throw national-budget-revision-level money at me! It’s terrifying! It makes me nervous!
Anyway—
“Well, if an alternative to the Blessing spreads worldwide, it will also help protect the slimes…”
Yeah. For the slimes, being “protected everywhere, given baths and food” doesn’t sound bad at all.
So let’s call that a win.
As long as Panis Village, the country, and the slimes are happy, that’s what matters to me.
“… By the way, Asuma-sama. Are you perhaps… a spirit of slimes or something…?”
“No, I’m not…”
… Maybe I really am too attached to slimes.
But, well, they’re slimes. They’re slimes, you know? It can’t be helped.
“By the way, what kind of country did those ex-Grand Cathedral people escape to?”
“A neighboring nation. They generally hold friendly relations with ours. They also border the country we fought in the recent war, so it is unclear how they feel about that…”
Ohh, so at least it’s not a country we were directly at war with just now. I see.
“After all, the war ended in our victory.”
“Ahh…”
I see. So the nation we fought earlier is no longer in any condition to do anything. Okay, okay, understood.
“Our country has superior resources. However, the other nation possesses a forest known as the ‘Elf Forest,’ said to be incredibly rich in mana. Their magic technology is likely far above ours.”
Hoooh… so if it came to an all-out war, they would be a dangerous opponent. Interesting…
“That is why we must deal with the ex-Grand Cathedral people first and eliminate any excuse for them to invade us.”
“And to do that, we need to spread the slimes.”
“Precisely. Can I count on you?”
“… I’ll increase production!”
My role is clear.
To stop this war and the ex-Grand Cathedral people’s selfish schemes, I must spread the greatness of slimes across the world!
“If slime greatness spreads worldwide, we might even found the Slime Church!”
“I-I see…”
Yes! The Slime Church!
The doctrines could be things like “Take a bath every day,” “Sleep well,” “Live carefree,” “Be massaged and massage others,” “Live a plump, wobbly, squishy life,” and so on…
Well, Slime Church aside, we began producing more slimes alongside the potions.
However, agricultural slimes rely on slimes from other dungeons as raw material. Ensuring stable supply is tricky.
Using Panis Village’s slimes would be easier, but…
depending solely on me isn’t good.
Which means there’s only one thing to do.
“Hey, I want to check out the condition of other dungeons. Will you come with me?”
“Of course. Investigating slimes?”
“You’re going slime investigating? I’m coming too!”
… And so we set out to investigate other dungeons, and their slimes.
Hmm… as a Dungeon Master, should I bring a gift or something?
Maybe some sweets?
Not sure…
What do you think about this chapter?
