Get Them Out! The Village of Schemes*4
And so, the matter of Lisas-san’s ex-wife and her lover was completely resolved by the next day.
Let’s see… First off, that same day, the ex-wife tried to approach Lisas-san alone—but since I was with him, and I blew the samba whistle to summon the slimes, she was stopped in her tracks.
Then, as I kept up a cheerful samba rhythm, adventurers started pouring out, going, “What’s going on?” “A festival?” “Ah! Lisas-san’s being bothered again!” and came to defend us.
So, in the end, the ex-wife only managed to say a few words to Lisas-san—he gave her a faintly displeased look—and that was all. We successfully protected him without further trouble.
Meanwhile, the lover had gone off drinking by himself. On his way back, he happened to run into Edele-san, who was heading from the dungeon reception toward the dining hall—and he immediately tried to flirt with her.
But, right at that moment, as Lisas-san and I were wrapping things up with the ex-wife and heading to the same dining hall—with a whole swarm of slimes in tow—we stopped him.
… You know, slimes are really proving their worth lately. They’re scattered all over the village, and depending on the whistle or my call, they’ll gather (or sometimes not). Then they turn into these soft, squishy, self-moving barricades. Their flexible bodies even let them slip between people’s legs like it’s nothing. Very handy creatures indeed.
Anyway, thanks to that, we got to enjoy our meal in peace at the dining hall. We joined Mishisia-san, who’d started without us, ate, drank, and—well, she drank an unbelievable amount all by herself…
… and while that was happening, I shifted my perspective to check the inn and saw that the ex-wife and lover were starting to get snappy at each other. Well, they were both in bad moods, after all.
But hey, if they wanna fight among themselves, fine by me. We just left them to it, and meanwhile, we stopped Mishisia-san from drinking herself under the table, explained to curious adventurers who asked “Hey, Asuma-sama, what’s that whistle sound?” about the samba whistle, and as I was doing that, more slimes gathered around again…
… Then, the next day.
The ex-wife and lover, still at odds, tried to visit the hot springs or grab a bite at the dining hall, but wherever they went, at least one adventurer would glance over and whisper, “Ah, those two, huh…” So they couldn’t relax at all.
That sparked another huge fight between them… and then—
“Well, don’t bother coming back anymore, okay?”
And with that, while we saw them off, they hurriedly left for the royal capital.
… All right! We drove them out!
So, yeah—that’s how we wrapped up all the messy business surrounding Lisas-san’s awkward past.
“Haah… I really caused you trouble this time.”
“Don’t worry about it! C’mon, helping each other out’s what friends do, right, Lisas-san?”
“I actually had a bit of fun!”
Lisas-san looked exhausted, but Mishisia-san and I were both smiling like, “Well, now that it’s over, that was kinda fun, huh?”
“I wasn’t too bad at acting, was I?”
“Edele-san, you were perfect!”
“Yeah! You were amazing, Edele-san!”
Edele-san giggled shyly. “If you say so, then I’m glad.” Even that reaction was flawless.
“Well… I doubt they’ll ever come to this village again. I think I can finally be at peace.”
“That’s great to hear!”
Lisas-san had a rough time of it, but still—everything that needed settling finally did. I wasn’t even directly involved, yet I felt strangely refreshed myself.
“I’m glad we also learned something—Lisas-san’s actually really popular, with both the villagers and the adventurers.”
At that, Mishisia-san suddenly said:
“… Is that so?”
“I think so! Sure, I did call out like, ‘Hey, Lisas-san might run into some trouble, come help!’ but that’s it! Just that, and everyone came together to help!”
Tons of adventurers and villagers joined in to act as extras, but it’s not like they were forced or pretending. All the praise they gave him probably wasn’t just flattery—they just finally said what they’d always thought.
“If people didn’t like you, they wouldn’t help you! Right?”
“Yeah… you’re right. I’m grateful.”
In other words—Lisas-san really is a beloved figure in this village. Even now, people around us were smiling as they watched.
“I think you’re just really earnest, Lisas-san.”
“That’s… not really true.”
“No, it is true! I mean, even when you went to get the jewel-tree flower and leaves, you could’ve taken the shortcut, but you insisted on going through the main entrance and properly clearing the dungeon.”
“Well, that’s because I was receiving something made by the dungeon’s god. I wanted to prove I was worthy of it.”
See, that’s what I mean—you’re serious, man! You knew full well that the dungeon god was me and I’d have given permission anyway, yet you still did it the proper way.
“I agree. Lisas-san is a very earnest man,” Edele-san added gently.
I immediately chimed in, “Exactly! Exactly!”
“That’s why everyone here likes you. You should be proud of that.”
“… Do you really think so?”
Now Mishisia-san joined in too, “Exactly! Exactly!”
“Yes. So, have a little confidence, all right?”
At Edele-san’s smile, Lisas-san smiled faintly back… then she suddenly looked like she’d just remembered something.
“Oh dear. Come to think of it, I never returned this.”
She reached up, flustered, to remove her hair ornament—the one made from jewel-tree flowers—but Lisas-san hurried to stop her.
“Ah, no, that’s fine. I gave that to you. I’d never properly thanked you for everything, so it was the perfect opportunity. Please, keep it.”
“… Are you sure? Then, I’ll gladly accept it.”
“I’d like that.”
Seeing how worried she still looked, Lisas-san gave her a gentle smile.
“Really, it’s all right? It’s such a rare thing.”
“Yeah. It suits you perfectly. I think that flower itself would be happier with you.”
As he said that, Edele-san blinked once—then laughed softly. “My, how charmingly you say that!”
Only after that did Lisas-san realize how smooth his words had sounded, but before he could get embarrassed, Mishisia-san twirled and said, “Then I’ll take this leaf too!” and I followed, “Then I’ll take this knife!” dancing along.
So, with us flailing around in a mismatched dance, Lisas-san got pulled in, and even Edele-san, giggling softly, joined the fun.
And somehow, the four of us ended up doing a clumsy, laughing dance together.
Well—happy ending, right? All good!
“Now then, the carriage! The carriage!”
All right.
Now that Lisas-san’s incident was taken care of, it was time for my work.
“I’m absolutely gonna improve it! Then I’ll head back to the capital, buy a mountain of books, and fill up the library in no time!”
“You’re really fired up, Asuma-sama. Good luck!”
“Yup! I’ll do my best!”
I will never forgive that godawful bumpy carriage. I’ll destroy that thing’s existence if it’s the last thing I do. I’m doing this.
“If we improve the carriages, Panis Village will get even more convenient. Easier travel means easier trade and tourism.”
Personal grudges aside, infrastructure’s important. No doubt about that.
Right now, Panis Village’s infrastructure is clearly the bottleneck. We’ve got areas we want to expand, but transport and logistics can’t keep up.
And especially since this is a hot spring village, accessibility is key! The royal capital’s just two days away—that’s pretty close by this world’s standards. We can’t waste that advantage. To keep Panis from being just another nameless village, we’ve gotta build up the route connecting it to the capital!
And for that… carriages are the key!
So I immediately set to work on designing a smoother ride.
“It’s all about suspension. In the end, suspension’s everything.”
“Asuma-sama’s saying something incomprehensible again…”
… When it comes to improving carriages, first off—it’s impossible to make one that doesn’t shake. That’s just a fact.
The roads are bumpy as heck. No matter what kind of wheel you’ve got, it’s gonna rattle. Can’t help that.
But there’s hope—it’s not about eliminating the shaking, it’s about absorbing it, or preventing it from directly reaching the carriage body. That’s what a suspension system does.
Picture it: two separate axles, each with coil springs attached to shock absorbers.
You’d need ball joints—like spherical hinges—but with dungeon power, I can craft those with perfect precision. It should be doable.
Still… maybe that’s a bit too high-tech for this world. Overtechnology, you know?
The precision for ball joints aside, even making coil springs would be tricky. At the very least, mass-producing them consistently would be impossible.
Ideally, someone should be able to take apart my dungeon-powered prototype, study the structure, and recreate it afterward. I have to think about what’ll happen after I’m gone. Maintenance and part replacement should be simple, at least.
“… By the way, are there already better carriages out there?”
Then it hit me—right! What about the best carriages in this world, not the one I rode? What’s their mechanism?
Maybe the smartest move would be to… borrow a few ideas.
“Oh? You mean the royal capital’s carriages? Yeah, the high-quality ones are less shaky.”
“Tell me more about that!”
So, I turned to Lisas-san, who knew the capital best and had plenty of carriage experience.
“Well… let’s see…”
“What makes them less bumpy?”
“The mechanism? I’m not entirely sure, but…”
Lisas-san furrowed his brow, trying hard to recall. Sorry for the trouble, man.
Then—
“Ah, right… The finest carriages use dragon wing membranes for the canopy.”
… Huh?
“The cheaper ones use wyvern. Some even use pegasus feathers, I think…”
… Oh.
“Those carriages made with such magical materials hardly shake at all.”
… Fantasy carriages, huh! Makes perfect sense! Of course that’d be the answer! This is a fantasy world—why wouldn’t they use that!?
Damn it, no amount of suspension can compete with fantasy physics! Fantasy wins every time!
What do you think about this chapter?
