Hospitality! The Dungeon Village*7
When adventurer parties enter a dungeon, even if they go in at the same time, they usually split up right away with a, “We’ll take this way,” and “Then we’ll go that way.”
Naturally, their goal is to collect gemstones.
If they went the same way, they’d just end up reducing each other’s share of the loot. So, as an unspoken rule, everyone acts separately unless there’s a special reason not to.
… So, this group—whether they’re assassins or adventurers, hard to say—also split up immediately after entering. Naturally, we of the Royal Third Knights Order took a different path from theirs.
“By the way, lad. You’re being carried today?”
“Yeah… I’m a bit sleepy…”
… And as for me, well, I was getting a piggyback ride from Lisas. I feel bad. I really do.
But it can’t be helped. Because right now… I can’t see anything in front of me.
I’m shifting my visual perspective all over, checking, “Which group looks suspicious?” I recognize a few familiar adventurer parties, but most of the ones that entered this morning are strangers to me.
Mishisia said there were “about twenty people,” so that’d mean four or five of those groups are assassin parties, right? So I’m keeping watch on all of them.
… And since I’m watching through my visual slimes, I can’t see where I’m physically going. So I pretend to be “sleepy” and have Lisas carry me. Sorry! But if I didn’t do this, I’d basically be blind! Please forgive me!
“Oh. There, that looks like a trap. Be careful.”
“There’s a gem on the ground. Don’t step on it.”
While I’m being carried, I leave my hearing focused here, so I can hear the knights’ conversation. They’re methodically exploring the dungeon as usual. You can take the gems home, y’know…!
“Asuma-sama, which way should we go?”
“Hmm? Uhh, let’s see… right. Let’s go right.”
“Understood.”
… Even like this, I’m still properly guiding them. That’s the whole reason I’m being carried! If I can’t lead the Third Knights Order, it’s all over!
“Asuma-sama, what about the assassins?”
“Let’s see… yeah, I’m starting to get a good idea which ones they are.”
And right about then, the assassin groups started moving.
Looks like… two groups, for now. They pretended to split up, but then doubled back and changed direction toward us.
But there should still be about half of them left. One group’s been loitering near the entrance—probably to guard against “stragglers.” That means at least one more assassin group is still out there. What a pain.
“Lisas-san, can you speed up a bit? They’re following us. Two groups—nine people total.”
“I see. Uh… Your Highness! There are many gems in this area, and I’m sure other adventurers will want to explore, so let’s move on ahead!”
I whispered to Lisas, and he immediately relayed it to Princess Laperesiana. Thank goodness.
… Though, yeah, Lisas isn’t much of an actor. Princess Laperesiana’s probably realized something’s up, but that’s fine. She’s likely thinking, “Lisas must have sensed the presence of assassins,” or something. Works for me.
“I see. Then let’s move! Everyone, prioritize your own safety!”
Princess Laperesiana accepted Lisas’s words without hesitation. Thank the gods.
… Alright. Time for me to start prepping the generic version.
Once we picked up the pace, the two assassin groups—nine people total—started getting antsy. Probably wondering, “Have we been spotted?”
Meanwhile, I’m busy puzzling over logistics: “I want to lure them here, but that group over there looks suspicious, so I want to get as far away as possible, but if I block this passage, normal adventurers will have trouble…”
Yeah. It’s like a puzzle. A complicated, shifting puzzle where one piece moves, and another juts out.
“Wh-what’s wrong, lad? You feeling unwell?”
“N-no, I’m fine! Don’t worry about me!”
The kind knights of the Third Order get all concerned while I’m there on Lisas’s back going “Aaaaaaah! Come onnnn!” Just keep walking, guys! Forward! Full speed ahead!
As I’m fretting and guiding them forward—
“Wait—Lisas-san, there’s a group ahead of us.”
“What?”
That made me tense up a bit. I mean, sure, I was keeping an eye on the guys behind us—but having someone ahead waiting to ambush? That shouldn’t be possible.
But they’re there. And since no one entered before us today, and there are no side paths here…
Ah, I see. They must’ve slipped in the night before, without going through reception, and hid inside the cave.
I mean, wow. That’s a bit extreme… but yeah, if it lets them set up a pincer attack, they’d do it.
That means—those who entered last night and hid inside, and those who came in this morning—are still somehow sharing intel.
Wait, what? Does this world have, like, cell phones? Telepathy? Something like that? I really should’ve checked. I just assumed they didn’t have that kind of thing.
If they can coordinate across distances… this situation’s a lot worse than I thought.
At this rate, we’ll be caught in a pincer attack. So should we deal with the rear group first?
… No. That’s not right.
“Lisas-san. I’ve got… an idea.”
I decided to take a gamble.
“How long can you hold your breath?”
“… What?”
And with that, we arrived at the room directly above “Generic-kun’s chamber.”
According to plan, I was going to knock the knights out with carbon dioxide, then drop them straight down through a floor trapdoor into Generic-kun’s room below.
“… They’re here.”
The nine assassins from behind caught up.
“Everyone, to arms! We have guests!”
But Princess Laperesiana must’ve anticipated this. The Third Knights Order didn’t panic—they readied for battle immediately. I couldn’t help but be impressed. So this is what real knights look like.
“Asuma-sama! Sorry, but I’m setting you down!”
“Go ahead! I can see now!”
No time to be carried—I had Lisas set me down (well, more like drop me), but no problem. I switched my sight back to my real body. A few slimes were waiting here. Moyoyon.
As I watched from within the slime cluster… just as expected, the knights’ movements were sluggish. They fought skillfully despite that, but the assassins—pretending to be adventurers—were strong.
Even though we had more numbers, we were losing ground. The assassins exploited the knights’ slowness and started taking them down one by one.
But then—
“Don’t underestimate me!”
Princess Laperesiana roared. Her sword drew a graceful arc through the air, striking toward the assassins—only to vanish.
Then flick, she appeared again, and two assassins collapsed.
… What was that!?
Right, of course! Princess Laperesiana can use fantasy powers too! What the heck was that!?
Then Lisas followed up.
It was my first time seeing him fight seriously, and wow—he’s incredible. He’s moving like some kind of fantasy hero too! His sword just cleaves through the assassins’ armor! What even—!?
Still, even with Princess Laperesiana and Lisas, they were being pushed back.
The two of them fought while protecting the wounded knights, which only made things harder. The assassins even started using the injured knights as shields. Disgusting tactics.
But… I couldn’t act yet.
Even when one knight fell, even when a second was stabbed—I still waited.
And then—
“A pincer attack!?”
From ahead, more people rushed in. The ambushers.
Even Princess Laperesiana was caught off guard for a moment—but only for a moment. She quickly steeled herself, raised her sword, and scanned for any move that might let everyone survive.
But the assassins didn’t give her time—they charged straight for her.
“Now!”
That’s when I triggered the trap.
From far away, compressed carbon dioxide burst into the room—filling it all at once!
Yes! If I knock everyone out—enemy and ally—it’s fine!
See? The whole problem was “what if the enemy attacks while the knights are unconscious?” So the solution is: knock everyone out at the same time!
So, in a panic, I grabbed a nearby slime and—squish—put it on my head!
It stretched and covered me like a helmet… or a fishbowl, really.
Looks ridiculous, sure—but necessary! Otherwise, I’d pass out too!
“Wha—what’s this!?”
“Poison gas! Your Highness, please, you must—damn!”
As the carbon dioxide levels spiked, everyone—assassins and knights alike—struggled for a bit before finally collapsing unconscious.
… The last ones to hold out were the Third Knights Order. Even as they fainted, they tried to carry Princess Laperesiana to safety. Truly impressive.
Alright then.
Now that everyone’s out cold… it’s trapdoor time!
“Okay, cushioning’s ready in Generic’s room… looks good! Here we go! Lisas-san, brace yourself!”
Lisas nodded, still holding his breath, so I said, “Alrighty then!” and absorbed the floor beneath us.
And so—we all fell straight down into Generic-kun’s room.
When I landed, it was right on top of him. So, moyoyon—no damage.
The others? Landed safely too, thanks to the air mats I’d prepared. Moyoyon!
… Oh! One assassin missed the mat! Oops! Heard a crack! Uh oh, uh oh—quick, douse him with a healing potion!
“Alright, Generic-kun! You’re up!”
I went around healing the assassins with herbal potions while Generic-kun treated the Third Knights Order with his Generic World Tree Potion.
Man, Generic-kun works fast. He’s all wobbly and bouncy, but with Lisas carrying and positioning the knights for him, things moved super smoothly.
As for me, I finished patching up all the assassins. I worked hard!
That’s my little way of showing I’m not playing favorites. Of course, I had to keep them alive—after all, the knights should be the ones to capture them.
Still, as a tiny bit of revenge, I snatched up and absorbed several of the assassins’ swords and knives. Whoops, my bad! Thought they were air mats! Totally accidental!
Once that was done, I told Generic-kun, “You can eat the leftover potions,” to erase the evidence. Now no one would know how the knights’ injuries were suddenly healed.
All that was left was to make sure we woke up before the assassins did…
“Hmm, how long should we wait to make it look natural?”
“… Eh, might as well wake them now.”
So Lisas and I started waking the knights—
—and then, flash!
“Mm…”
“Wh-what…?”
An impossible brightness filled the underground chamber, and everyone—knights, assassins, and all—woke up.
And what they saw was—
“A… glowing slime!?”
—the radiant, shining figure of Generic-kun!
What do you think about this chapter?
