Fizz-san’s troubling day.
Fizz’s Point of View
My mornings, as Fizz Roswayde, seem to start early. I’m already working at the knights’ headquarters an hour before my shift officially begins, and I start my day breaking a sweat with some swings before sunrise. So, naturally, I was already awake on that particular morning.
"Captain! We received word from the lookout that a mysterious group of beastmen warriors in white capes and black armor has arrived!"
The message reached me through my home's magical communication device. Tension spread through me at my subordinate's report, and I immediately rushed to the scene.
"Muscle, muscle, muscle! Rosariiiiiin!"
"Meat, muscle, muscle! Rosaaaaariin!"
"Muscled and ripped, Dirk-sama!”
"Hustle muscle, Dirk-sama!!"
It was, without a doubt, a group I was familiar with. They were devotees of my friends. While probably harmless, they were absolutely a disturbance to the peace.
"Is there a representative here? I'd like to speak with you!"
"Bulked-up muscle! Rosarrrrriiiiiin!"
It was pointless; they couldn’t hear me over their own shouting. I adjusted the mode on the magic communicator Miss Rosarin had designed for me.
"Everyone, cover your ears!"
My subordinates quickly caught on and covered their ears.
"STOP! REPRESENTATIVE, STEP FORWARD!!"
I yelled at maximum volume. Miss Rosarin’s device could also function as a megaphone, and since the intruders were beastmen, the effect was intense. They grabbed their ears, groaning in pain. Some of my men flinched, but… well, that was inevitable.
Even though they didn’t seem hostile, I couldn't allow an armed group to walk through the capital in this state. Fortunately, they had been stopped right before the city gate.
"Who are you?!"
I had a hunch, but I asked just in case.
"We are Rosarin-sama’s fan club! Known to all as the ‘Silver Princess Hero Worshippers’!!"
"We are Dirk-sama’s fan club! Known as the ‘Pursuit of Pinnacle Muscle Society!!’"
What to do? I really didn't want to get involved. So it was about Miss Rosarin and Dirk after all.
"What’s the reason for all this commotion?"
Apparently, they came all this way to request an invitation to the wedding, scheduled for half a year from now, of my two friends.
Tired of dealing with it, I decided to pass the responsibility to Miss Rosarin, and directed my men to guide the group to her residence. A short while later, I received a report from my subordinates saying that Miss Rosarin had managed to handle them.
I felt a bit bad, so I resolved to bring her some sweets as a token of apology later. But before I could relax, another subordinate burst in, clearly alarmed.
“Captain! There’s a mass of golden cacti walking around in the city! Somehow, they’ve bypassed the city’s barriers!”
“… It’s from the Rosenberg family, no doubt. Still, I feel bad if reckless adventurers pick a fight with them and get… taken down. I’ll go myself. Let the Adventurers’ Guild know that if anyone harms the cacti, they may suffer retribution from the Blood-Soaked Queen!”
“Yes, sir!”
My subordinate immediately relayed the warning to the Adventurers’ Guild.
I went out to meet the mass of golden cacti strolling through the city streets.
"It’s been a while. Is Sabo-san here?”
Oh, dear. Thanks to Miss Rosarin, I’d developed the uncanny ability to speak with cacti.
“Here. Been a while.”
One of the golden cacti stepped forward. It was actually rainbow-colored in disguise… right?
Ah, I felt a wave of nostalgia, thinking back to the times I hunted down those who ignored paperwork about cacti.
After indulging in that brief escape from reality, I managed to get Sabo-san to explain. They, too, had walked all the way from the desert to request an invitation to Miss Rosarin and Dirk’s wedding.
“Hmmm…”
Sending them directly to Miss Rosarin’s house again might risk missing her this time of day.
I directed the cacti to wait at the school that Miss Rosarin attended.
Thanks to her, I’d unconsciously come to equate “cacti” with “harmless.” After all, they were my comrades in the paperwork battles we’d fought together.
In hindsight, I admit I should have been more cautious, as their presence in front of her school caused quite the uproar. I should have sent them directly to her house or the Rosenberg estate, where they could wait half a day without causing a scene.
Reflecting on that mistake, I looked up at the spring sky from my office. The soft, clear spring sky. A cloud shaped like a whale and… an enormous fish.
… An enormous fish!?
An unfamiliar creature… an enormous fish floated in the sky, drifting peacefully.
"Captain! A massive magical creature has appeared in the sky!"
"I can see it."
I immediately began simulating a strategy in my head to deal with the creature. First, we’d need to lure it away from the capital to minimize damage. I’d have to call in reinforcements from the Magic Bureau…
"Rosarin-chaaaan?”
You’ve got to be kidding me.
I froze, dumbfounded. Fish, are you… also a friend of Miss Rosarin? Or rather, a “fish-end”?
“Ca-Captain…”
“I understand. Leave it to me.”
At this hour, she’s probably at school. I directed the fish to Rosarin’s location.
“Thank you very much for your kind assistance.”
It was surprisingly polite for an enormous fish. Just in case, I also informed the Adventurers’ Guild not to engage.
Alright, time to finish up this paperwork. Unlike my predecessor, I handle it bit by bit every day, so there’s not much of a backlog. It should be done in no time.
“Ca-Captain! There’s another one… in the sky…!”
Now, a red dragon was flying overhead.
“Not a problem. It’s likely Miss Rosarin’s dragon spirit. Resume regular duties.”
“It probably isn’t, sir! The number of horns is different, and it looks female!”
I couldn’t quite see the difference myself, but now that I looked closely, it did appear a bit… distinct? Maybe if they were side-by-side, I’d be able to tell.
"Rosarin-chaaan, are you here?"
Hearing the voice, I realized it was definitely a different dragon. Miss Rosarin’s dragon spirit had a boyish voice, if I remembered correctly.
The female dragon didn’t seem to mean any harm, so I gave her Miss Rosarin’s whereabouts and issued an order to the Adventurers' Guild not to attack.
"Thank you, you’ve been very helpful."
Hmm, quite a polite dragon, indeed.
After wrapping up some paperwork, I was taking a break. Glancing at the sky, I noticed a mass of crystal dragons filling it.
Bathed in the sunlight, the crystal dragons sparkled beautifully.
"Is Rosarin here?!"
Hmm. I had a feeling this might happen. My subordinates simply reported to me without fuss, a sign that perhaps our sense of urgency was waning—something I should address soon.
Since Miss Rosarin should still be in school at this hour, I directed them that way.
"Thanks, that helps. It’s rare to find a human who talks to us without flinching, like you do."
Honestly, even I find a swarm of crystal dragons intimidating. They just don’t see me flinch since they have no hostile intent, and my expressions are hard to read.
"Is that so?"
But he didn’t need to point out my supposed lack of fear. I nodded noncommittally. Just as I was about to issue another order to the Adventurers' Guild, I found my subordinate had already taken care of it. Quite the attentive crew I have.
Miss Rosarin is (probably) not at fault here, but there have been far too many troublesome visitors lately, so I couldn’t let this slide. I contacted Dirk, explained the situation, and asked him to bring Miss Rosarin along.
"Oh, I’m so sorry, Fizz!"
"Ah, it’s alright."
My friend is a good guy. That lightened my mood a bit. Honestly, I don’t deserve to call him a friend. I gave a small, rueful smile… and waited for the various nuisances brought by my friend’s troublesome bride.
While waiting, I received a report that Miss Rosarin had taken down several crystal dragons with a giant paper fan. I spit out the tea I’d been sipping. What on earth is she doing?
Eventually, Miss Rosarin arrived, looking exhausted and accompanied by Dirk. Well, dealing with so many visitors would wear anyone out. I had, admittedly, almost entirely passed the task on to her out of sheer annoyance.
She seemed nervous, thinking I’d scold her, but I only wanted to hear her side of things. As I was about to reassure her, my response was a bit delayed.
"I am deeply sorryyyy!!"
"Huh?"
"I-I apologize for all the trouble caused by my friends… the dragons, the fish… everyone!!"
Rosarin dropped to her knees in a deep bow. Uh, what am I supposed to do now? I glanced at Dirk in confusion, and he gave a wry smile.
"Rosarin, it seems Fizz isn’t angry."
"Really?! I was ready for at least a claw to the face…ow!"
"And what exactly do you think I am? Since that’s what you expected, I’ll grant your wish."
"I didn’t wish for it! No violence, please!!"
After this silly exchange, I conducted the interview. I also asked if any more incidents were likely to arise.
"Today was exhausting…"
Miss Rosarin looked crestfallen. Sorry, but when you get home, the elves are waiting for you. They’ve been made to wait because they’re a handful. Do your best.
I cheered her on in my mind.
"… Captain, you seemed to be having fun. You really are close to Dirk-sama, aren’t you?"
"…Y ou think so?"
"Yes. You both had very relaxed expressions. So did Dirk-sama."
"… I see."
Hearing that made me feel oddly happy. Today had been ridiculously busy, but… not entirely bad.
The next day, a swarm of mole beastmen appeared, so I had no choice but to hand it off to Miss Rosarin. Since I’m already predicting further disturbances, I gave her a “heads up” with a claw tap. Is it unfair to treat Miss Rosarin harshly despite her being a woman? Well, she’s female, but in my mind, she belongs in her own category, labeled ‘Rosarin,’ so it can’t be helped.
Recently, a few dragons, perhaps out of boredom, have taken to visiting. I’m not sure what to do about it. Their target seems to be some pastries made by one of my talented subordinates, but they also come to chat with me.
"It seems they’ve taken a liking to you."
"… To what, exactly?"
Well, they do help out in subduing troublemakers, and they leave right away if I’m busy, so it isn’t a problem. I suppose I’ll allow it.
Then, sometime later, rumors began circulating that I’d made dragons into my servants. All I’d done was have a friend help me with work, so I dealt swift claw taps to the fools spreading such rumors.
"The Captain is… kinda strange, huh?"
"Yeah…"
The whispers of my subordinates, however, never reached my ears.
What do you think about this chapter?
